What to do when you don’t know what to do #BLM

Posted on

It’s an incredibly unsettling time in America. We’ve already been struggling with COVID-19, the economy, and isolation. And now, the spotlight is on racism.

I’ve seen a lot of messages from my professional community in regards to Black Lives Matter. Some great, some empty. This post strays from my writings on marketing, but what’s happening in the world around me rekindled my activist spirit.

If you want to take action, you can, of course, join a protest or donate to bail funds or other organizations supporting Black Lives Matter.

If you don’t know what to do, below I’ve shared a few other ideas. It’s OK if you don’t know what to do or aren’t ready to join the movement. This may be new to many. It’s understandable if you can’t go from 0 to 100.

I also want to make it clear that I’m not an expert. I may be wrong. I may be full of sh*t. But this is what I’m doing to help (besides some other things, which I will share privately if you ask).

So here goes nothing!

1) Don’t be afraid to start a dialogue on racism for fear of getting it wrong. 

First and foremost – welcome and thank you to those joining this difficult dialogue or even more deeply thinking about racism for the first time. For most People of Color or POC (or if you prefer BIPOC folks – Black, Indigenous, People of Color) this is a constant in our lives.

Side note: I also want to make it clear that just because someone identifies as POC doesn’t mean that they cannot be racist (or uninformed). Anyone can be racist. In fact, the model minority myth was created as a wedge between Black and Asians and not to mention the racial tension between Black and Asians in America. So, I want to make it clear that just because I’m a POC, does not even mean I remotely understand how a Black person feels in America.

This is an uncomfortable conversation.

It may even be scary. It is a burden. And it is exhausting.

Having a dialogue helps us become better. No one, POC folks included, knows everything. Ask questions. Educate yourself.

2) Actively be an ally.

It sounds easy, but trust me, it’s not.

For the professionals out there, especially those in technology, it’s disproportionally white, and not just white, but white men. The lack of diversity is appalling, especially in this incredibly global and diverse world. And especially in very diverse cities like New York or San Francisco.

It’s understandable that going out of your way to call someone out about their bad behavior is already uncomfortable, now imagine if you had to call someone out for their racist behavior. Especially in the workplace.

It can affect relationships, put you at disadvantage (for example: if you were to say something to someone in a position of power), and can be emotionally draining,

Not only that, even if you did call someone out: changing bad behavior is not going to happen in a day.

How leaders or people with influence can be an ally

It’s up to leadership to create their position and policy on behaviors they won’t tolerate in the workplace and the actions to take if they do occur. The next step is to create safe environments for anyone at any level to report behavior, and for leadership to enforce those policies. This is why you are the leader – to set the standard, create a safe environment, act as a role model, and lead.

For people with influence, that is power: USE IT. It goes a long way if you can stand up for those who cannot or are afraid to speak up.

Now I’m going to get onto my little soap box.

Leaders that do not uphold their positions and policies are not leaders.

As a leader, if you stand by someone who has actively been called out for racism (or sexism, or homophobia, etc), you are just as guilty. I know you may argue this, but those who stand by to allow bad behaviors to happen are the reason why we are here in the first place.

Leaders who protect employees who engage in bad behavior because they are high performers are not ok. They are either bad themselves or cowards unwilling to stand by their morals and values for the sake of $$$.

Those who consistently make exceptions and excuses for bad behaviors or try to hide bad behaviors are just as culpable as the bad actors.*

“It’s just business” is not a valid excuse.

So, don’t do those things. Ok, I’ll get off my soap box now.

*bad actors, as in, people who engage in bad behavior and bad, as in, those things widely recognized as unacceptable (I don’t want to get into a debate about good versus bad here).

How everyone else can be an ally

My hope is that you would feel safe enough to call out bad behaviors or defend someone. It’s hard, I know, but watching it happen and not doing anything about it is definitely not good.

If you’re not comfortable in calling someone out directly, try speaking candidly with someone in a leadership role you feel you can trust.

Things cannot change if we choose to stay complacent.

A gentle reminder: Stick to your morals and values, not to others’. Changing your mind about someone is OK. Maybe you’ve known them for years and they have been a great loyal and supportive friend. Then you witness that they have another (ugly) side to themselves you didn’t know about – decide how you feel about it and what you will do about it. I know that being loyal and standing by your friend is your gut reaction, but if it doesn’t jive/mesh/align with your own morals and values, who are you as a person?

3) Create your own way of supporting.

Not ready to protest? Aren’t sure about donating? That’s OK.* How about supporting a Black-owned or POC-owned business? 

For example, search for “black-owned restaurants”+ your city in Twitter and you’ll likely find a resource. 

Or why not buy a book from a Black-owned or POC-owned bookstore? Here are some starter titles:

*For anyone who says it’s not ok to not protest or not donate, I urge you to please please back down. Using social pressure to push someone for action doesn’t change a thing. It only creates fear. Open a dialogue, encourage, don’t push.

While I wish this didn’t have to be a dialogue we needed to be having in 2020, I am grateful we can have it. Hopefully, some of these ideas can help and I hope we keep this conversation going toward creating change and healing as a country.

Stay safe out there.

Header Photo by Nicole Baster on Unsplash