Sometimes you get into a new role, or there are organizational changes, or something happens to the business and you realize things aren’t working out for you. What do you do?
Wonderful jobs can suddenly become less than wonderful, that’s just the nature of things. Having been faced with a situation that isn’t working many times, I’m well aware there are many routes that you can take to solving the problem at hand.
Let’s be clear that I’m referring to people problems. Maybe you are given goals that set you up for failure or you’re struggling with your boss or colleague taking credit or throwing you under the bus. (Note: I’m going to not talk about problems with direct reports in this post, it could get complicated).
For these very human problems, it most often boils down to better or direct communication and understanding. Other times it could be about removing yourself or the other person from the situation. Occasionally, if you’ve exhausted all efforts, you may need to make the hard decision of leaving the role/job overall.
The underlying theme is that you have to identify and understand what the situation is and make an effort to fix it.
Sounds simple right?
Maybe not. Perhaps you don’t know where to begin? Perhaps you’re not sure how to identify the problem. Perhaps you have identified the problem but aren’t sure how to go about fixing it or feel powerless to do so.
So how do you fix the situation?
Great question.
For someone who may have not faced these challenges before, the answers may not be obvious (or maybe they are, and I’m just dense). We often jump to conclusions without understanding the full picture or once we go down a negative path, it’s difficult to turn back. For me, putting in the effort to solve tricky people situations was something I had to learn through experience.
Below I’ve written down the process in which I go through when faced with a difficult situation.
Gather information
More often than not, you may be faced with a challenge where you don’t have the full picture. Doing some information gathering to understand why things are the way they are (and giving the benefit of the doubt). This could mean talking to a trusted team member who has been there longer than you or something who is going through the same experience.
The key here is to try not to color their opinions or share your opinions. Ask questions and keep an open mind.
Talk to a mentor
Or a career coach, or talk to someone more senior.
Regardless of challenges or not, having a mentor can be incredibly rewarding. Sometimes talking to someone with more experience can give you a fresh perspective.
Having a great mentor can often be life changing. When I was in a bad situation awhile back, I was given a perspective I would never have thought of because I was entirely too upset. He pointed me in the right direction in terms of having my own power and keeping it and overall helped me make the right decisions. I’ve been following his advice ever since.
I also mentor. My mentees often come to me about challenges that really involve communicating their needs properly and setting expectations with their managers or colleagues.
Escalate (only if necessary).
Always first try to solve people problems at your own level. Don’t escalate if you don’t need to – this is professional suicide if you choose to do so. Why? You won’t be viewed as someone who can handle challenges yourself, and you could end up as a ‘tattle tale.’
Say you are having trouble with a colleague on another team. Figure out what’s going on and talk to them first. Make a few efforts – try various solutions. Only when that isn’t working, talk to your manager about how to solve it.
Only, of course, when a situation gets more tricky or even illegal (discrimination, bias), do you need to make sure you are protecting yourself by clearly documenting the situation and, if needed, talking to HR.
A final word: Sometimes you may need to leave.
This last one is definitely not to be taken lightly.
You love or loved this job and company. How can leaving be the answer? Sometimes it is when it becomes impossible for you to be successful. Even if you have job security and you know you could stay and have a steady income. All you would have to do is put your head down and power on.
I have 100% been in this situation. Having faced challenges such as off kilter bosses, colleagues out for blood, or impossible marketing goals, I’ve had to make hard decisions.
Making a hard decision means thinking big picture and stepping outside of your comfort zone.
Interview and find a new role if you can. Don’t jump quickly. You don’t want to take a new role because you were “escaping” a bad one. Know what you want, why you want it, and don’t ignore red flags.
If you know you the time and space to recover, and are financially stable enough to do so, I highly recommend taking a work break. I have done this to travel and recover from burn out. It doesn’t feel good to leave a job without something at the other end, but sometimes you need it to reset yourself.
That’s ok.
Life is too short to keep trying to ram a square peg into a round hole.
Header Photo by Jukan Tateisi on Unsplash